6:30 pm

the Young Man came to the Old Man seeking counsel.

I broke something, Old Man

How badly is it broken?

It's in a million little pieces.

I'm afraid i can't help you.

Why?

There's nothing you can do.

Why?

It can't be fixed.

Why?

It's broken beyond repair. It's in a million little pieces.

5:25 AM.

[day one]

i think i might be an insomniac and that sucks.

i went to bed tonight around 2:30, laid there for around 20 minutes thinking about how i still need to tell my dad about my tattoos because summer is coming up and i can't be walking around in sweatshirts and whatnot in 80 degree weather, blah blah blah. THEN, i started to think about how fucking messy my apartment was. This thought would not go way for another 20 minutes or so, and i decided i would not be able to sleep unless i cleaned it.

So what do you think i did?

I cleaned it. 

Most of it. I didn't do the dishes because they're disgusting. But i gathered 3 trash bags worth of garbage, cleaned my room up, gathered all the dishes together even though i didn't really wash them, and by the time i was done it was around 4. 

Today, i need to wake up at 8, so i figured since i wasn't tired, i was better off staying awake until class. So that's where i'm at right now, sitting up in my bed with the lights on, drinking coffee with 2 high caffeine shots of black coffee (caution:limit 2 per day) in it, all while listening to a playlist of 2 songs on repeat, and writing this.

Never Better.

i can feel the caffeine starting to take effect and i'm typing extremely fast. i should be a secretary one day.

2 Song Playlist:

-"The Wolves (Act I and II)"- Bon Iver

-"A Song For a Lover of Long Ago"-Justin Vernon

March 17th, 2008. Charleston, South Carolina. 4:12 pm.

I heard it was lonely up there at the top.

Reading old notebooks is so weird to me. I've found myself doing it all the time lately. I feel like i've changed so much in the little time that's gone by that i can't even relate to the entries that i wrote less than a year ago.

February 20th, 2008. day two/three, 12:12 am.

February 21st, 2008. 12:17 am.

February 21st, 2008. day four? three?, 11:15 pm.

March 2nd, 2008.

"Fuck"

take a look at me now.

keeping track. some scribbles. a math problem. a text message from lauren that i wrote down. a list of things to bring to chicago. medusa drawing. poems. a hiding spot (so i don't forget.)

Playlist 2:

Coldplay. Bon Iver. Anthony Green. Justin Vernon. POS. Bruno. Owen. Right Away, Great Captain.

"What is your worth now? No more black and friction, no more deep breath. Always."

God, I am losing my mind.

NOW ALLLL YOUR LOVE IS WASTED, AND THEN WHO THE HELL WAS I?

i think i could just sit here and type out song lyrics, but i'll spare whoever is deciding to read this long thing.

I need to refresh back home for a few days. I am 762 miles from my home. I miss my family I miss my friends. 

I'm okay. I'm doing okay.

3/3

to have and to hold, for better or for worse, to love and to cherish,

'til death are we apart.

2.09

rest in peace.

Stolen.

XO

www.myspace.com/xopublishing

truth.

you're fucking spineless, you try too hard, and nothing you do makes sense to me. why i'm still analyzing any of this is fucking beyond me.